SEX: 6 Facts You Need To Know About First Time Sex

By Egbodo Peter

Sexuality is a highly personal and diverse aspect of human life, and it encompasses a broad spectrum of experiences and preferences. Each individual’s journey with sex is shaped by a combination of biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors, making it inherently unique. The diversity in desires, preferences, and comfort levels among people ensures that no two sexual experiences are identical.

It’s crucial to recognize and embrace this diversity, understanding that there is no universal standard for what constitutes a “normal” or “ideal” sexual experience. Society may present certain expectations or norms, but these should not dictate or overshadow the personal journey and preferences of individuals. What brings satisfaction and fulfillment in a sexual context varies widely from person to person.

The absence of a “right” or “wrong” way to have intercourse emphasizes the importance of consent, communication, and mutual respect in any intimate relationship. What works for one person or couple may not work for another, and that’s perfectly acceptable. It’s essential to prioritize open and honest communication with your partner(s), ensuring that everyone involved feels comfortable and respected.

Comparing one’s own sexual experiences to others can lead to unnecessary pressure, insecurity, or a sense of inadequacy. It’s important to appreciate and celebrate the uniqueness of your own journey, free from societal expectations or external judgments. Instead of seeking validation through comparison, focus on understanding your desires, boundaries, and communication style to cultivate a healthy and fulfilling sexual experience.

The diverse nature of human sexuality underlines the importance of embracing individual differences, fostering open communication, and rejecting any notions of a “one-size-fits-all” approach to sex. By acknowledging and respecting the uniqueness of each person’s experience, individuals can navigate their sexual journeys with authenticity, self-awareness, and a deep understanding of personal boundaries and desires.

Here are things you should know!

1. Communication Is Key.

Before, during, and after sex, it’s important to talk to your partner about what you want and need. This includes things like setting boundaries, talking about likes and dislikes, and expressing any concerns or fears you may have. Communication is the best way to make sure everyone involved is comfortable and enjoying themselves.

2. Don’t Stress Out About Being “Good” At Sex.

Remember, there’s no one “right” way to have sex, and it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned. Don’t put pressure on yourself to perform a certain way, or to live up to any unrealistic expectations. Focus on enjoying yourself and connecting with your partner.

3. It’s Okay To Laugh.

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Sex can be funny, and that’s totally normal. Laughing during sex doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, and it can actually be a great way to relax and enjoy yourself. Laughter is good for your health and your relationship, so don’t be afraid to giggle if the mood strikes you.

4. Don’t Forget About Aftercare.

After sex, it’s important to take some time to relax and debrief with your partner. This can include things like cuddling, talking about the experience, and taking care of any physical needs that may have arisen. Aftercare is essential for maintaining a healthy sexual relationship and ensuring that everyone feels good about the experience.

5. Consent Is Crucial.

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This one is so important, I can’t stress it enough. Before and during sex, it’s important to make sure that everyone involved is giving and receiving clear, enthusiastic consent. This means that everyone is actively saying “yes” to the experience, and that no one is being pressured or coerced into anything they don’t want to do.

6. Pleasure.

A lot of people focus on the goal of orgasm during sex, but it’s important to remember that pleasure is more than just orgasm. Sex can be enjoyable and fulfilling even without orgasm, and there are many different ways to experience pleasure. Focusing on pleasure, rather than orgasm, can help you relax and enjoy yourself more fully.

It’s totally normal to be nervous before having sex for the first time! That said, it’s good to check that you’re not confusing nerves with simply not really being ready to have sex. 

Also, try not to worry or feel rushed if your friends say they’ve had sex. It’s best to wait until it feels like the right situation for you.

© Egbodo Peter